Dad's Sixtieth
At 33, I intend to go even deeper into the care and celebration of my community.
Dad turned sixty on July 3, 2024, and a surprise party awaited him in his hometown of Winston-Salem, North Carolina on that day. This plan had been in the works pretty much since my last trip to North Carolina, and it felt wonderful to land in Charlotte last Tuesday to see it through to its completion.
Early in the afternoon, my parents, sister, niece, and I drove about 75 minutes to Winston-Salem, taking in the lush greenery on either side of I-85 as we did so. As we drew closer to the place where the majority of us were born and my parents met, my father started commenting on the similarities and differences he noticed. The most common refrain was that the trees had grown in such abundance that it was harder to see certain places - including his old neighborhood - from the highway. This theme, undergirded by both the consistency and dynamism of time, arose across the trip. We made it to our hotel soon thereafter, and we prepared to travel down roads that held decades of memories.
We went to the Mayflower Seafood Restaurant for dinner, and we beamed across the table at each other as my parents recounted some of their earlier experiences there.
After dinner, we ventured to the home that my parents bought soon after I was born, and then we headed to the house where my father grew up. As I drove, I meditated on how perception can shift over time. As a child, I must’ve thought that these two places were at least twenty minutes from each other; these days, I understand that it only takes five minutes to get from the first to the second.
More majestic trees greeted us from these yards. As we made our way back to the hotel - particularly on Main Street - Dad recalled a story from his childhood. When he was ten years old, twenty years after Brown v. Board was decided, he staged a protest with his friends to get bus service to and from school. After being literally passed by for so long, he put his body on the ground on Main Street to push bus drivers to pick up Black children in his neighborhood. I smiled slightly as we took in this amazing anecdote; I knew that I would soon be telling it to a room full of people that he deeply loves.
***
On the big day, we woke up without much fanfare. My mother, sister, and I played it exceptionally cool throughout the entire process, and we’d been telling Dad that we would go to a nice restaurant in downtown Winston-Salem for dinner. In the morning, I accompanied my father and niece to the pool on the first floor, while my mother and sister went to the hotel to finalize the arrangements. I put my feet in the pool, watching my niece float and my father guide the process. I felt the peace and excitement of the occasion in equal parts.
Soon, it was just a couple hours before the big event. Dad received fewer calls than average for his birthday, as most of his people were preparing to join the party in person or over Zoom. I leaned in a bit when he picked up the phone, hoping that the surprise would be maintained for just a little longer. One such call occurred on the way to the venue, but it ended swiftly - paving the way for the big moment to have its intended effect.
We parked in a garage across from the venue, and we walked across a sky bridge. Several signs pointed us in the direction we needed to take, and melodious music grew in sound as we got closer to the door. My sister and I surreptitiously pulled out our phones to start recording, and we stepped through the threshold:
Brilliant grins spread throughout the room, with Dad holding the biggest one of all. We hugged the guests, and my niece met all the people in the room for essentially the first time. I quickly moved to set up the Zoom line and get the podium in place for our program. A spirit of love & joy intensified with each passing second, and I was honored to bear witness.
I opened the program with a grand welcome and the story that Dad shared the day prior. That he possessed the courage to stand up to racial injustice as a child showed me the power & possibility of an inheritance. I spoke of Dad’s bold faith, strengthened each day by the love of Christ, that brought each of us into the room for such a special evening. A couple of Dad’s friends in the ministry prayed over the event, and - after a scripture reading by my niece - dinner commenced. I took an opportunity to walk the laptop holding the people on Zoom around the room; aunts and uncles greeted each other virtually, and people who have known each other for decades flashed smiles to one another.
After the meal, various people of significance got up to the podium to share reflections about Dad. Aunt Ernestine, Dad’s paternal aunt & the eldest person in the room, kicked us off, and she was followed by friends, church members, and other family members. The Zoom participants also shared beautiful words, and I appreciated the existence of the technology to make that possible. The impact of Dad’s long & continuing life was evident in the heartfelt sentiments that everyone offered.
My sister then led us in raising our glasses to Dad as she delivered a poignant reflection. Dad remarked on how touched he was by it all, especially because his father passed away at the age of 56. My niece then joined Dad to blow out the candles on his cake. The big smiles grew even wider as we basked in this love.
***
On the Fourth of July, we took in the meditative state of the day. We visited the graves of Dad’s parents, and we took flowers to Aunt Aurelia, Dad’s only surviving maternal aunt, for her 83rd birthday. We concluded the day at the home of Uncle Ed, Dad’s youngest brother. My niece spoke very enthusiastically about her desire to meet her cousins, and this wish came to fruition.
In these particular times of global upheaval, last week provided a clarifying balm. The consistent practice of intentional & capacious community care will get us through the immense challenges we face. I thank God for sixty years for Dad, and I can’t wait to invest even more time and energy into these priceless moments during the coming decades.
Awesome capture of an amazing event Andrew! Thank God for your perseverance to ensure that your Dad enjoyed an event to remember.
What a wonderful tribute to a man who has clearly shaped so many lives in important ways! Glad to see him receive his flowers now while he can enjoy them. Grateful for his influence that led you to pursue justice and service, so we could meet and for the betterment of our world.